Letter to my Cats

Dear Cats,

Do not eat my food. You have a full bowl of fresh wet cat food.

When I turn around to put a dish in the sink, do not grab a piece of tofurky off my sandwich and run. I will catch you and I will still eat the tofurky slice. I may even eat you.

I'm 8 months pregnant. Do not fuck with my food.

Love,

Jess

I Yelled at the Bagger at A & P

I was in line buying a loaf of bread at A & P.

There was a woman buying groceries in front of me. Her son was helping her bag. She was still gathering her things when the cashier rang up my bread. The woman's son puts MY bread into a bag. WTF?

I yelled "Hey that's mine!"

That's when I realized that the guy who I thought was the woman's son was not her son, but the A&P bagger.....

I apologized as much as I could. I felt like such an ass.